He was old enough to be my big brother;

The simple one who’s true self is cloaked

Behind the curtain a caring unsuspecting wolf

His craving for the sweet things of life lured little girls like me

Into his arms without the prying eyes of another his age; my parents

Neighbors call him names like, good, kind and compassionate

But to me, he was the big black wolf that lured this girl into his den

A den not filled with Daniel’s lions, but this Lion that wore the face of a sick man

This sick man who loves little black dolls

The kinds he can play with behind closed doors

He was the devil’s tool stirring my future’s pool with his magic wand

Sprinkling dusts of negative cravings for dark colors coated on this staff

The one he used to part the red sea like Moses, before Egypt’s hot chase

Chasing me swiftly like the wind to fall into that dark hole,

Falling slowly, headlong into the pool of my own blood

Like a flood ready to gush, I swam in the sea of my tears

His hands misdirecting my thoughts, he said “Do not tell”

Those words stuck in the darkest room of my heart

A room where this devil hosts regular rave parties for years

Having a co-tenant- the big black wolf

I can’t tell; his last words still rang in my head “Do not tell”

Like a ding-dong bell; an alarm, a reminder

Never to give in or never even falter

But I faltered; fell like a scale off the promise I secretly made

Let’s call a spade a shovel to dig up the buried blade

The one that tore my V; taking away the fore-skin; hymen

This craving for that touch from myself secretly whispering “Hi Men”

Yes, these high men made me high

Owning the secret pathway in between my thighs; I loved it

Secretly hated, but loved the pain that ripped my heart

My emotions separated from my conscience

Trying hard to mix the oil and water; lost my essence

Lost the future to North poles, that always stuck in holes

Trying to cover every one of my footprints for fear of evidence

Nothing helping, so I lived in pretence

Wearing a makeup to cover the foundation

Shunning the good girl; befriending temptation

For it was my closest companion; always in a union of lies

I listened to this lies told; I had to be bold

To take a journey into the line of constructive destructiveness

Diverse metamorphosis like my PMS

Someone save me, I can’t get passed this raping

This rape of my conscience, intermingled with the one who fled with my voice

Swimming in the waterloo of breakups

Always fixing time for touchups

To pad up the foundation and ready for makeup

Making up scenes in my head; a start up from the beginning

Reeling the pictures back to when those cold hands touched me

Stealing my innocence; planting thorns around my flower

Tearing and subduing my power; I cowered

Creeping back into the day I was born,

Merging my heartbeat with the tick of time,

Wishing I was back in my mother’s womb as seed form,

To be given birth to a new me; not smeared with this crime

© Neofloetry, 2015.

About neofloetry

I am a lover of the real things of life and love. An actress, Playwright, Poetess and a lover of Hip Hop. I do not compromise my happiness for any negative thing and i am human. I just love to scribble down my thoughts, no matter the topic... I make mistakes! Welcome to my blog page.

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