A SEA OF EMOTIONS (Big Brother Naija 3)

Standard
A SEA OF EMOTIONS (Big Brother Naija 3)

“Hurting people hurt people.” Is a very catchy phrase that no one should consciously ignore. It is in fact supposed to be a personal wake up anthem for your everyday living. Once you have been hurt deep enough, you begin to hurt others in a certain unpleasant way. I have never been a super fan of the phrase ‘emotional wreck’, although there are times when our emotions tend to take the better part of our budding lives and turn it into a wilting flower (it takes the mercy of God to keep us back on track so we don’t die off). I have seen many being commandeered into being labeled such an individual, and in the long run, people begin to avoid such a person like a plague. Once they know that he/she is about to make a grand entry about a matter, everyone takes cover. Yes, everyone takes cover! Except for a few persons who are bold enough to confront, and or speak in a soft tone just for peace to reign.

Let me digress a bit. I remember sometime late last year when the BBNaija ad was up for this Season’s show, and a friend of mine said to me “you know you can go for this audition? If you eventually make it into the house, that would be awesome.” I smiled a bit, then got scared because, I am one person who avoids the larger public eye for so many reasons. I shrunk in my mind at the thought of being in a house filled with different people. The thought of how I’d cope if I found myself in an unpleasant situation. I never liked un-called for fights and arguments (I easily would want to make peace so that I can breathe normally for energy sustenance). I looked at my friend and smiled, then started boasting a little about what creativity I would push forward. But in my heart there’s no way for me to proceed further. The Port Harcourt auditions happened, and I was at home eating pounded yam and freshly made egusi soup. What is my own? I can’t come and kill myself jor.

When the Big Brother Naija Season 3 began, I wasn’t glued to my TV set just to know who the Housemates were; their names and what they even looked like. I wasn’t worried either. I was just minding my poetry business until one fine evening, I and my eighteen-year-old sister started the BBNaija discussion. Prior to that day, I had snooped in on my Instagram account to check out what was buzzing. I had seen a few faces, but didn’t give it another look. So, that evening the remote was ours for the evening since ‘General-Dad’ (sole owner of the TV remote) wasn’t home. I began to get myself acquainted with the few housemates my eyes captured; first, it was a sort of pairing I noticed. I noticed that some of the ladies were clinging on to the dudes like they were in a relationship show. I didn’t worry much, but then, i thought about the ‘double wahala’ tagline. Housemates were cuddling and making out, and all what-not. Well, I didn’t bother. I quickly decided to watch the game at least 3-4 times in a week (excluding party nights, and including eviction nights). It was fun, and the tempers were beginning to rise.

Weeks passed, and I had already picked out my favorite pair (BamBam and Teddy A fan). I loved the aura around them, even though were miles away. I loved the two. Miracle and Nina were the next two, but I still couldn’t understand their stand, Tobi and Cee-c were always in people’s faces with all the emotional rollercoaster, Lolu and Anto were just vibing with too much wittiness and what-not, Rico was standing alone, but loved the kitchen like no other, Ahneeka and Angel cruised on the wings of cupid but failed to admit they had been shot, Bitto and Princess…. Uhmm *scratches head*, Leo and Alex had an unsure quest going on for them, but…, then Dee-One and Vandora almost killed us with cunning dry jokes, and as for Khloe and K-Brule, the back and forth drunken prattles kept bouncing off like ping-pong balls, while Ifu ennada bathed us with her creative sides. Hmmmmm. Such showmanship on display.

Anyway, these housemates had it all together, I guess. They all took turns in diving into the Sea of mixed emotions. Some got me really pissed, while others warmed me up and made me excited… can you guess? I was getting fed up with this one Character who saw herself as higher and better than the other housemates. Her squinting eyes and famous eyelashes and hair made me cringe most times. I yelled a lot of times, while other times I just felt some sort of pity for her. She is human; very fickle, but the ‘toxicity’ was too much for many like me to bear. It baffled me how she gained such massive support. This only told me one thing (many human beings are drawn to ‘drama’, and they confuse it for realness). My question is “what then is realness?” does it mean that the other housemates were not being real? As far as I was concerned, every one of them was being ‘real’, but all jumped onboard with game strategies… Duh! Emotions began trickling from the inside, thus causing a verbal war on the outside. The Social media space was buzzing with abusive and verbal huffs and puffs. Team this against Team that. This whole enchilada began an emotional outrage! This was all madness. Yes, MADNESS! Everyone took a deep dive into that sea. See? (pun intended).

The BBNaija Season 3 ended for me when BamBam and Teddy A were yanked out simultaneously. I was pained, but I felt the kind of peace they felt when they escaped all the hate from within the house. Their bathroom incidence made it worse from most judgmental viewers. I am not saying that what ensued between them was right, but hey, they are human beings, and things like this are bound to happen, besides, the cameras brought it to the forefront, otherwise, not one viewer would have known. What about the ones not shown from other ‘sneaky’ housemates? Anyway, who am to analyze?

As it stands, the heat is turned up, and a caucus has been formed after fifteen successful evictions/disqualifications. Tolex (Tobi and Alex, Miracle and Nina, excluding King Cee-c who drowned in the sea of her tears today). Tobi and Alex are very much fond of each other, and I’m super sure Cee-c isn’t happy about it. Miracle and Nina had their fight before eviction night, but they seem to have grown deeply connected. Voting lines are still open, and this is the final week. Viewers/fans are voting like never before. It is a mad world out here; everyone rooting for their best housemates to win, because, 45 million Naira is at stake, but all I can say is “May the best man/woman win.”

 

At this point, we need our youths to focus their minds on the getting their PVCs, and prepare to vote in the upcoming 2019 elections.

 

(c) Edwina ‘Neofloetry’ Aleme

 

Photo credit: saatchi art

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

CLOUD

Standard
CLOUD

to you who becloud my mornings…

cloud that you are
racing lovingly to calm me
i feel your cmbrace like ice-cream topping
touching me, wrapping me sweetly
i remain firmly rooted like feet planted
and the tickles beneath reminds me of naïve days
when the soft heaves of loves breath
worship my responsiveness all at once
of hands clasped, in a plea for desire’s call
of woos and romantic nights and mushy talks
underneath peeping twinkling stars,
you are cloud; sometimes grey
and many times fluffy and white

i remember you tapping my thighs
your hands taking an adventurous journey
drinking from valleys and climbing mountains
searching my body like an artist’s brush
stroking shapes and forms; becoming
your 9D art
you who is better than Picasso’s art, you are cloud to me. i see no other

within you is your pure gleaning smile; sun
i might just call you “son of my soil;
earth, woman that I am
blossoming at your loin’s sprinkles
i expand like the hoeizon
taking steps into you, my Grand Canyon
let me fall, a dive won’t hurt
let me go in reverse cascade to your peak

cloud that you are
i see your eyes speak to me,
telling a thousand tales of Jove’s journey…

cloud that you are
touch me here, touch me there… Yes!
ferry me gently round this earth; mine and yours
raise me higher as your hands clasped mine to cloud nine
safely breathe upon me
as I have memory of your taste;
chocolatey, and melting into me

You are my cloud this morning.

 

©Neofloetry
26/02/18

 

Photo credit: http://www.beliefnet.com

DREAD LOCKED LOVE

Standard
DREAD LOCKED LOVE

My eyes have seen love sown
How it blossoms in unlikely quarters
How two, love struck, dance
to the beaming melodies of heartbeats
How their feet rhythmifies every step
Every smirk on their lips like a singer
whose unsung notes stay alert for many years
These two, like Siamese stay pressed on
Distance remains their connected cord; umbilical
like mother to child,
like months separating them
from cuddles and warmth
like the two yearning for togetherness

Love, I say, is more than just a word
It is pure serene laughter when light illuminated your form; presently
It is I and you drenched in wanton hugs and kisses
Unashamedly announcing friendship
like an applique on a well designed dress
I behold you many times in my wildest thoughts
Mind traveling journeys like a French tourist
asking precise mind full questions
stamping words of declaration; affirmations
too robust for me to fathom
Countless times “je t’aime aussi” soared
Emotions crept through my fingers,
stroking your beards, and
planting kisses on the soil of your lips

I have seen love take long journeys
Organic; connecting two natural lovers; intertwined
a dread locked away in my heart, and taking territories
unafraid to pole volt this journey with you
Though you gave me an unlikely name
I know that this love has conquered a territory
where its walls are Jericho high
through mountains and valleys of my heart
and these two locked in one as a whole.

 

©Neofloetry
27/03/18
6:45pm

WHAT GOOD IS A KISS…?

Standard
WHAT GOOD IS A KISS…?

WHAT GOOD IS A KISS…?

 

Today’s atmosphere felt really congested. It reminded me of the days of broken hearts flying everywhere like glass splinters. It also reminded me of when these pieces pierce an unsuspecting boo who will keep thinking that shot was from cupids’ bow, but end up being hurt all over again. This reminder is amply overloaded with ‘stories that touch’ from the past. Hmmmmm!

I started my morning on a rather low note. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I just couldn’t get my eyes off my ever-so-annoying wall clock. First, it was my phone’s alarm waking me up at exactly six-thirty-one a.m. These sleepy orbs of mine kept prowling my entire room until I couldn’t take it anymore. I sat up, and still a bit unsatisfied with my four hours of sleep from last night, i wanted to just go back to bed. But my clock just reminded me that it’s almost seven-thirty. I didn’t grumble, but I mumbled what I thought was a ‘Good morning’ prayer. While I sat on the edge of my bed, these words “what good is a kiss, especially if it’s not with the one you truly love…” from a a movie WAITING TO EXHALE soundtrack came flying into my mind. I paused for a while and allowed my mind to wander around this, and I quickly concluded that this could be an act of ‘kissing the enemy’. How disastrous can this be to any dating relationship? Hmmm

I pondered upon this, and It just hit me that it is very obvious that a lot of singles are in fact, actually kissing someone they have absolutely no business sharing such an intimate moment with. I couldn’t get my head around why that just happens. I have been in that kind of situation where I deliberately and naively put myself under that spotlight. It wasn’t a prim and proper kind of entanglement, you know. It only gave way for unwanted relationship thorns to start blooming. Trust me. It’s not a pleasant situation, except you are a master in the art of being a shady lover. Many ladies like me are still practicing this act, whether we agree or not. It might not sound nice if I tagged it ‘a form of desperation’, but at the same time, I also think it is just a way of getting out of the label of being ‘single and reserved’. I hope I don’t get a thousand female eyes shooting at me. Hehehehe.

As crazy as this might sound, some relationships are nowadays more or less like a ‘try-your-luck’ kind of situation. I have been in a place where I hear most ladies yammer on the fact that they no longer care if these dudes love them or not, or whether these ladies like these dudes or not. They just want to be in a relationship. They just want that fine glass of wine without checking the bottle for the amount intoxication effect it will live on them. They certainly do not care if that box of chocolate is for them or not. All they want is the whole container. Who am I to judge anyone? I have had my own fair share of the wahala in the past.

While all of this as a trend is ongoing from the female side, I think the male camp also have their own ‘shoot your shot’ kind of situation going for them too. As much as they wouldn’t want to admit it, this whole “I just want to get hooked” might just be like ‘a-little-boy-in-a-games-resort’ thing for them. It is not a crime to be picking and dropping toys until you find that one special toy, but where it is wrong is when it is applied in the relationship kinda thing. No one likes to be picked, used and dumped. Ok, I get it! You just want to ‘taste and see’. But why taste before you begin to choose to see if the Aunty is right one? I would rather the Aunty is befriended first before you decide on the ‘tasting’ part… *rolling eyes* Anyway, not all the Uncles in this camp are like that sha… I admit it. There are just a few good men to salvage the situation.

Meanwhile, in my own camp (my very own personal camp), I have decided that this is not my wahala. All I can do is try to wrap my head around this whole situation, and begin to live a stress-free life when it comes to these kinds of entanglements. Many singles out there have what works for them. They have decided to live like that, while others are still regretting why they decided to share a kiss with the one they do not truly love. What is my own? I am only a ‘partially single’ observer (don’t ask me what that means).

Let me just fix my gaze on what makes me happy. Adios!

 

(c) Edwina ‘Neofloetry’ Aleme

 

photo credit: wikihow.com

Link
YOURS AND MINE

I see trophies in between your thighs
No, I can’t help but crave them in my bench thoughts
Your poise is a voice singing riches with no coins
And the traveler is home no more a wanderer eating stones
It’ll be real, everlasting bond
The moment I want to break with you
So don’t fret, i am no flirt
I don’t deal in lies and dirt
It’s not bad crave, but a trophy in between your thighs
You’ll be forever on my mind
Forever
All I hear from you dear
Seems everlasting and clear
I see you see trophies in between Africa and Jamaica
But my tentacles embrace signals from afar
I won’t fret cos I know you want to commune
With this sweet wine taste on the tip of your tongue
I know you want to cross my twin hills with your fingers as feet
I know I’ll be in your contact lens a perfect fit
But just let my exhales and inhales mark time
With yours and mine
Hoping that all will be fine
Cos this time, my smiles won’t take strolls down no aisle
And may that one sweet day change no clime

 

(C) Neofloetry

COMING OUT; A BULLY’S TARGET?

Standard
COMING OUT; A BULLY’S TARGET?

I come online, and i can’t get past three posts without this name embracing my optical sense. He was last seen on the 1st of June; kidnapped by unknown persons who reacted to his recent essay on being Queer. He is a good writer; a facebook friend. I had no idea. I got concerned and snoopy, then decided to read his 15th May article on brittle paper titled ‘We’re Queer, We’re Here’, and almost immediately i had a flashback on my final year project “COMING OUT” A DRAMA ON MALE HOMOSEXUALITY IN NIGERIA’S TERTIARY INSTITUTIONS. In Act III, Scene II, the gay protagonist faces serious bullying by some homophobic undergraduates in the same Department. His roommate eventually finds out, and also tries to help him seek psychological prognosis in the end… Did it help him?

 
I remember a certain time when a young man; a junior colleague was almost picked up from our Department’s car park, a few months before final year graduation, because he is a queer kind; and with slightly curvaceous hips like that of a lady. An alarm was raised, and he was rescued from the danger that had awaited him that evening. Four guys in a Toyota Camry almost snatched him away from school. I couldn’t come to terms with why i would want to hurt another person because he/she is of an odd behavior. Where i feel funny is when i am not being able to relate to when this goes beyond just feeling different from within. I have respect for every human being because God created us all, but something evil seeks to destroy what God has created beautifully and wonderfully, hence the disorderliness.

During my project research period, i lost the plump weight i had gained during my third year, due to the vast information on this mind boggling issue. The more i researched, the more i began to see beyond the reason why i shouldn’t hurt anyone because… I began to understand the medical, psychological and emotional sides of these sets of people. I developed a better heart in the long run (I had never hated them, but only wished such will just go away and not put them in great danger. I can’t stand people being hurt for not knowing why they are the way they are). As a believer of God, all you can do is just keep holding them up in earnest prayers, upholding them before God. Truth is, God didn’t create anyone like that, this only happens when a child is born into a world were the spiritual evil rules the earth. Anything can happen. How do you explain why a child is born with a hole in the heart? Thank God for medical science, but how…? It only takes the spiritual good to overcome such oddness.

Gayism, like i wrote in the Abstract of my Final year project paper, states that it is becoming a widespread practice among youths in Nigeria’s tertiary institutions, and it is gradually taking center stage, and many young people are still facing bullying. I went on to quote the author of CHANGING HOMOSEXUALITY IN THE MALE, Lawrence J. Hatterer. He opines that “One who is motivated by a definite preferential erotic attraction to members of the same-sex, usually but not necessarily engages in overt sexual relations with them.”

Most of these individuals sometimes ‘helplessly’ choose to remain in this because they can’t come to terms with why they are this way, especially in a society where such is strongly kicked against. They earnestly yearn also to be able to share their feelings and desires, become members of communities that gives them the platforms to express their shared views without inhibitions (This is a very sensitive matter, not everyone who’s homophobic can understand this). The likes of Sigmund Freud, Isidor Sadger, Jean Foucault, David Halperin, etc, all have their opinion about this very issue.

My heart goes out to Chibụìhè Light Obi You will return in one piece.
I pray for his safety. I pray that his abductors will let him go free, without a fuss. Amen!
Read the essay here: http://brittlepaper.com/2017/05/queer-chibuihe-obi-essay/
Note: These are my personal thoughts.
Photo Credit: http://www.wildreed.blogspot.com

PIERCING WORDS: ‘Poet of the day’ – Niyi Osundare

Standard
PIERCING WORDS: ‘Poet of the day’ – Niyi Osundare

Niyi Osundare is a Professor of English Literature in the University of New Orleans, USA, and a prolific and outspoken poet and teacher from the South West part of Nigeria. He is also a dramatist and vast literary critic whose works touches mostly on deep political issues; a very clear evidence of ‘artistic activism’. He has written poems, and has several books in print, which includes; Moonsongs (1988), Village Voices (1984), State Visit (2002, Play), Not My Business (2005), Random Blues (2011), etc.

He is a  holder of numerous outstanding awards, of which two of them are the Folon/Nichols award for ‘Excellence in literary creativity’, the Nigerian National Merit Awards (NNMA) for ‘Academic excellence’.

He once made a captivating statement which is able to awaken the conscious conscience of any Nigerian writer; spurring them into writing words that can mend the broken bridges of the failing Nigerian leadership style:

           “You cannot keep quiet about the situation in the kind of countries we find ourselves in, in Africa. When you wake up and there is no running water, when you have a massive power outage for days and nights, no food on the table, no hospital for the sick, no peace of mind; when the image of the ruler you see everywhere is that of a dictator with a gun in his hand; and, on the international level, when you live in a world in which your continent is consigned to the margin, a world in which the colour of your skin is a constant disadvantage, everywhere you go – then there is no other way than to write about this, in an attempt to change the situation for the better.”

Enjoy reading one my favorite of his collection of poems.

My Lord

Please tell me where to keep your bribe?

Do I drop it in your venerable chambers

Or carry the heavy booty to your immaculate mansion

 

Shall I bury it in the capacious water tank

In your well laundered backyard

Or will it breathe better in the septic tank

Since money can deodorize the smelliest crime

 

Shall I haul it up the attic

Between the ceiling and your lofty roof

Or shall I conjure the walls to open up

And swallow this sudden bounty from your honest labour

 

Shall I give a billion to each of your paramours

The black, the light, the Fanta-yellow

They will surely know how to keep the loot

In places too remote for the sniffing dog

Or shall I use the particulars

Of your anonymous maidservants and manservants

With their names on overflowing bank accounts

While they famish like ownerless dogs

 

Shall I haul it all to your village

In the valley behind seven mountains

Where potholes swallow up the hugest jeep

And Penury leaves a scar on every house

 

My Lord

It will take the fastest machine

Many, many days to count this booty; and lucky bank bosses

May help themselves to a fraction of the loot

 

My Lord

Tell me where to keep your bribe?

 

My Lord

Tell me where to keep your bribe?

 

The “last hope of the common man”

Has become the last bastion of the criminally rich

A terrible plague bestrides the land

Besieged by rapacious judges and venal lawyers

 

Behind the antiquated wig

And the slavish glove

The penguin gown and the obfuscating jargon

Is a rot and riot whose stench is choking the land

 

Behind the rituals and roted rigmaroles

Old antics connive with new tricks

Behind the prim-and-proper costumes of masquerades

Corruption stands, naked, in its insolent impunity

 

For sale to the highest bidder

Interlocutory and perpetual injunctions

Opulent criminals shop for pliant judges

Protect the criminal, enshrine the crime

 

And Election Petition Tribunals

Ah, bless those goldmines and bottomless booties!

Scoundrel vote-riggers romp to electoral victory

All hail our buyable Bench and conniving Bar

 

A million dollars in Their Lordship’s bedroom

A million euros in the parlor closet

Countless naira beneath the kitchen sink

Our courts are fast running out of Ghana-must-go’s*

 

The “Temple of Justice”

Is broken in every brick

The roof is roundly perforated

By termites of graft

 

My Lord

Tell me where to keep your bribe?

 

Judges doze in the courtroom

Having spent all night, counting money and various “gifts”

And the Chief Justice looks on with tired eyes

As Corruption usurps his gavel.

 

Crime pays in this country

Corruption has its handsome rewards

Just one judgement sold to the richest bidder

Will catapult Judge & Lawyer to the Billionaires’ Club

 

The Law, they say, is an ass

Sometimes fast, sometimes slow

But the Law in Nigeria is a vulture

Fat on the cash-and-carry carrion of murdered Conscience

Won gb’ebi f’alare

     Won gb’are f’elebi**

They kill our trust in the common good

These Monsters of Mammon in their garish gowns

 

Unhappy the land

Where jobbers are judges

Where Impunity walks the streets

Like a large, invincible Demon

 

Come Sunday, they troop to the church

Friday, they mouth their mantra in pious mosques

But they pervert Justice all week long

And dig us deeper into the hellish hole.

 

Nigeria is a huge corpse

With milling maggots on its wretched hulk

They prey every day, they prey every night

For the endless decomposition of our common soul

My Most Honourable Lord

Just tell me where to keep your bribe.

 

 

*Large, extremely tough bags used for carrying heavy cash in Nigeria

** They declare the innocent guilty

      They pronounce the guilty innocent

 
(c) Niyi Osundare
Photo credit: Sahara Reporters

Freed by Love

Standard
Freed by Love

We, unaccustomed to courage

are exiled from sheer delight

where we live coiled in shells of loneliness,

until love echoes our names from a distance

to liberate us from darkness into light.

 

Love finally arrives!

in its train come fresh ecstacies,

reviving fading old memories of pleasure;

blotting off histories of numbing pain.

now, we are bold

as love strikes away chains of fear

from our souls.

 

We are weaned from our timidity

In the flashes of love’s light

we dare to be brave, and

suddenly seeing that love loves us

in what we are, and will ever be.

 

It is only love that can set us free.

 

(c) Neofloetry, 2017

15/5/17.

 

Photo credit: growngals.com

The stalenessness of relationships

Standard
The stalenessness of relationships

How much of a lamb of sacrifice can anyone be in a relationship? Is there any special meditation or magical concoction one has to mix to ensure that the poison of staleness does not affect what they have going for them when in the spotlight with a spouse? Hmmm… There are too many questions to ask when you find yourself being ‘exclusive’ or not with someone you are either in lust or love with.

Many young people (i say ‘young’ people, because they are the most vulnerable and expertly naive) in the world today go into dating relationships most times not having a personal knowledge of what they are about to get themselves into. Oftentimes, they just do what they see their friends do. Peer pressure causes them to go the extra mile, then they eventually get into their first experience of heartbreak. They try to get into another, then anotther, until their so-called love life becomes a huge epic fail. The staleness sets in like cement on a wet floor, and at this point, there is no point of return for them; for years.

I remember what it felt like when i had my first feelings for a boy from my High School days (although, he wasn’t the first boy i kissed. Lol). It felt like i had just won a jackpot when we declared our late ‘teenage love‘, then eventually dating after a few years of being away. He always liked to come visit me. We would sit outside with other friends of ours and chat away excitedly. I sometimes scribbled how i felt on paper for him, and he would sometimes do the same. The whole experience was really exciting, until the day the bright sky began to slowly turn grey, and the eventual falling of rain from the sky of my eyes. I was really hurt! I experienced my own baptism of fiery failed first relationship. He cheated on me with another girl from the neighborhood. That was it. I was done! several years later, many more failed relationships set in. “Why?” you may ask. I certainly didn’t know why, until my eyes began to open to the truth. There were many stale things that needed to be thrown into the trash bag and burnt forever.

In this day and age, many people find themselves still experiencing bad relationships, because there is still a demon from the past lurking in their minds, spirit souls and bodies. They have not come to know that there is only one thing that is really constant in all of their past dating days. They are the only contant thing that needs spring cleaning in their minds. Studies have shown that “What you think, you attract.” It is a law that boomerangs on us constantly as individuals who will refuse to look away from the warning signs. Imagine if young man starts dating a new lady, and he still has a ton of trash from his past relationship hanging in the closet of his mind, he may never be very open to her, and they decide to call it quits or just abscond, thereby ending what they had abruptly. Who would be blamed, the guy or the girl? (You should answer that…) Many people still see their Exs in their new dating partners. Until you change your mindset from focusing on the wrongs, there won’t be any change.

There are signs that show that a relationship is stale, and they all have names; constant sugarcoated lies, blinding deceptions, muting communications, audacious pridefulness, egotistic blackmails. If all of these and many others are spotted in your relationship, best be sure that yours is speedily heading for the iceberg that tore through the titanic ship.

  1. Once you begin to see traces of lies, ensure you find out for yourself by asking questions nicely, and if you do not get any answers, then use your common sense… Selah.
  2. Both men and women can be very deceptive in so many areas. They can subtly lure you into believing anything. How you get to know if they are professional decievers, is to observe the way they carry on with people around them. Don’t try to wave it aside by trying to defend them, just take note, cause it might just be your turn.
  3. You earnestly wish you can have all the time to yourselves; that lovey-dovy time where you can just talk about just everything without holding back, but that doesn’t seem to materialise. Both of you just sit there loving the keypads of your mobile phones, and communicating silently to third parties. Seriously! Who does such a thing when they ‘claim’ to be exclusively in love? Even mutes have devised ways to ‘Communicate’ their feelings. A relationship devoid of proper communication (not talking o!), is as good as milling factory without machineries… Selah
  4. Pride goes before a fall. Nobody wants to keep falling in and out of love because of a prideful spouse. This character has killed several relationships, and many do not get to survive it. Watchout, otherwise you will constantly suffer for what you did not bargain for.
  5. Guys are mostly the ones with the ego-tripping issues, and the ladies are the most sufferers of such acts. Sometimes, emotional blackmail begins to surface when there is some form of friction. When this happens, take time out to nicely and calmly state your observations. If your spouse is gracious enough, he/she will begin to make the required change for a successful and enviable relationship.

Make that faithful effort to clean out your closet of the past hurts and pain. Do not be that one who will begin to torment your spouse with then stench of staleness because of what you have suffered in the past.  If you hve the right perspective in place, you can also ask God to help you deal with that garbage forever.

Learn and observe what your spouse’s love language is, and go with the flow at all time.  For further info on knowing about how you can sail smoothly in your relationSHIP, opt to get a copy of Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages here http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Sometimes, not all relationships are worth saving too. I hope you learned something new today.

 

Yours Truly

Edwina Amakievi Aleme.

 

 

THE JOLLOF WARS, AND A LIE THAT ALMOST ENDED IT…

Standard
THE JOLLOF WARS, AND A LIE THAT ALMOST ENDED IT…

We are a people with greatness embedded in the center of our beings, and with a love for several delicacies, from the different geo-political zones. We like it fried, porridge, baked, sautéed, barbequed, roasted or any kind of soup. Nigeria remains a country with diverse tribes and different kind of dishes that have the empowering abilities to cause any lover of “belle first” to dive neck deep into that lagoon, not minding if that dish will end their lives or not. Anyone who is a self-acclaimed foodist or an entitled one will know how important it is to ‘guard that which is its own’ (abi na lie?). Nigerian food lovers always protect their delicacies with all jealousy.

Jollof rice is a one of its kind common dish in Western Africa. Its name is derived from the Wolof people of Senegal, and the Gambia, but Nigeria and Ghana have since come from a very debatable standpoint of being the ‘originators’ of the perfectly prepared version of this highly respected delicacy. Other countries like Sierra Leone, Liberia, Mali, Cameroon and Togo also consume this dish. As we all know, for a period, there has been ongoing social media war on “Which country prepares the best Jollof rice, Nigeria or Ghana?”. This doesn’t seem like it is going to stop anytime soon, if Jesus tarries. Nigerians are not willing to back down, as many foodists come up with several innovative ways to prepare and decorate the ‘Naija Jollof’ to catch the eye of the eater. In fact, some people hold this dish sacred. (Jesu egba wa o!) God help us.

As someone who loves to cook for myself, and for people, I have gotten to that point where I see people fight because of food or even fight to get their own portion of food. You can find this action take place in our regular wedding ceremonies or other open-air parties where the ‘public’ is invited. I have noticed that the most fought for food is the very popular firewood, well cooked, sauced and spiced jollof rice, garnished with a piece of fried chicken or beef. No one would want to give up on that, especially when the aroma from their neighbors’ plate hit their nostrils with all joyfulness, and awakening your tastebuds; making your mouth watery. Lol

Just last week friday, Richard Quest of CNN visited Lagos, Nigeria to anchor his programme Richard Quest means Business, and there was a brief Q and A session he had with our dear Minister of Information and Culture (I will not mention his name, before the ongoing war in my head will end because of a truthful lie…) who subconsciously decided in his mind to end an age long war when asked “Which country makes the most delicious Jollof rice in Africa?” . His answer was a tsunami! *Covers face* Someone once said that “that singular act is a treasonable felony, punishable under the Nigeria Jollof rice Act of 1960”, and I concurred that he should be punished without inviting professional whistle blowers to his rescue…

[Dramatic music playing in the background]

… Richard Quest went on to clarify in Act II, stating that  he asked “which country did Jollof rice originate from” and the lie came rushing… I mean, what was dear Mr. Information and Culture Minister thinking? Did he realize how many people fainted in Nigeria, and how many Ghanaians threw a send-off party, while the Senegalese were caught off-guard? This in fact is a case of the popular belief that “A witch cried and a baby died last night”. This is an unpardonable sin; to betray Nigerians in the face of Jollof War II. A Lai-Lie may have just ended this war for nothing. This sweet war? Imagine American celebrities clamoring over the ever-so-tasteful NAIJA JOLLOF RICE! Three ‘gbosa’ for us jor!

Just recently, Aso’s wobbly rock came to the rescue of Nigerians, by stating that Nigerians can continue in the fight by holding the title “Nigerians cook the best Jollof rice in West Africa.” At least, this gave us hope that we are still title holders. I mean, who wouldn’t want to defend its own in the face of ‘best food’ chaos? For goodness sake, Jollof rice is a state of mind of the Nigerian majority. Everyone holds it to high esteem. Overlooking the garnishing of this dish and spelling the word with a small letter ‘j’ is a slap on the faces of a million and more Jollofists at home and in the diaspora. No Naija Jollof rice enthusiast will take this lightly (Ghanaians, take note. We are not smiling).

So, for everyone who had serious migraine after a truthful Lai-Lie almost ended this war, may you find budding reasons why you should keep defending your own, and keep fighting this war until the opponent bows out, hoisting the Jollofist white flag of peace. This is our ‘Jollofist Anthem’

I pledge to JOLLOF my best food

To be FAITHFUL, LOYAL and HONEST

To serve it HOT with all my heart

To DEFEND her uniting integrity

And UPHOLD her HONOR and TASTY GLORY

SO HELP ME GOD (to not LAI!)

Yours Truly

Edwina Amakievi Aleme (Neofloetry)

6/5/2017

Photo credit: dooneyskitchen.com