There are certain things that are better left unsaid when you are trying to get up the ‘dating relationship’ hill, with your pail full of joy and laughter, and all of a sudden you come tumbling down like Jill falling right along behind Jack, spilling off the liquid content you fetched from the well of friendship. That… will be… the very thing… that can open your eyes… if you do not shut them tightly because of the pain you feel on your knee cap. At that moment if you look closely, you will catch a glimpse of Jack trying to gain his balance and taking steps back up the hill without bothering if he broke his crown for your sake or if you are still tumbling downhill. While doing so, he is scouting for another to take uphill again… How weird is that?
*This analogy above happens every now and again when there is a little ‘scratch’ between friends or dating relationships.*
Have you ever found yourself being in a friendship relationship with someone you thought you were extremely close to, and just at the strike of some slight argument, you are left hanging like you never existed in the first place, then all the emotions come rushing in like pain assembling to awaken the fresh bruise you just had from falling? The questioning of friendship begins to jet back at you. You begin to have series of ‘self-blaming’ episodes, and why you shouldn’t have responded with an answer to a question you thought was not relevant at that moment.
I have had the opportunity to listen to fellow ladies or even guys reiterate these experiences, and I couldn’t help but wonder why things have to be that way, after all the sweet cementing of friendship, then comes a demon with the hammer to break off the sealing that has lasted for months or in most cases, years. That seems to be the problem these days with many.
There are too many questions that come to your mind, especially when it is observed by you or your partner that there are ‘several’ individuals in the background that both of you fall back on as a ‘backup plan’, without a feeling of remorse when something goes wrong. I mean, I am being real here. There are many guys and ladies who have turned into ‘hunters’, prowling, and establishing ‘relationships’ when they are in fact in a relationship that’s growing (this is what makes it easier for ‘Jack to step back up the hill, not minding if Jill is still tumbling downhill’). Whatever happened to true friendship?
Two mature adults… scratch that… two mature and reasonably sane adults should be able to communicate properly without all the blame game drama. Take for instance, if I create an environment where an unhealthy argument happens, I should be able to apologize and take responsibility for my said words that may have sparked that fire, and my partner should be able to do the same without any misguided sentiments. In fact, many will even choose to dish out the ‘silent treatment’ if they feel obligated to do so, thereby seeing themselves as the ‘not guilty’ one. Now, that’s some over-sentimental-emotional-torture-bullcrap! In my own open-minded and unbiased opinion, that’s gross irresponsibility!
Now, my major questions are:
- Why can’t a reasonable adult point out another’s fault without having a hidden motives behind that action?
- What happened the vow of friendship without selfish and egotistic sentiments?
- Is apologizing without causing further problems with honest questions a crime to shut out your partner?
- Why do many, especially guys dish out the ‘emotional torture’ and ‘silent treatment’ tactics to get back at their partner for faltering when in fact they just want out?
There are too many questions to ask, but it only takes someone with common sense and wisdom to be able to handle such a situation without turning anthills into hard rock mountains.
I have had my own fair share of these kinds of experiences, but how you deal with it without ‘self-blame’ or blaming your partner, and moving on with your life is what makes all the difference, especially when the guy or lady in question have several ‘open options’ to choose from. Jill, in this case, should not get uptight when she finds herself at the bottom of the hill, she should just get up, dust the dirt off her dress, pick up her pail and walk back home, with thankfulness in her heart. There are many unhealthy relationships out there in the world. What did Jack and Jill sign up for? This is all a stereotypical vicious cycle…
N/B: Jack could be a lady, and Jill, a guy. It all depends on which gender the arrow points to. By the way this Jack and Jill nursery rhyme has some sexual connotations in it… Lmao